Women and Marriage

imageDear Society,
I’m writing to get the latest updates on women and marriage. I think the marriage app might be outdated. Are women still required to get married? Are women still considered whores, man haters, career bitches, or old hags if they don’t want to get married? Just checking because as I browse the net, I hear a lot of talk that makes me think that either people are stuck in a time warp or the program just hasn’t been updated in years!

I grew ip in the mid-west, and marriage was seen as the ultimate goal. The girls were expected to follow a set of rules:

Finish high school
Go to college
Find a boyfriend (or be found)
Graduate from college
Marry your boyfriend in an elaborate wedding
Get a job
Have babies
Assume wifely & motherly duties

I have no disrespect for the women who chose that path, but I do feel sorry for the women who had that path chosen for them and were afraid to go another route. I feel for the women who grew up later in life and realized they were trapped in a marriage with a guy they liked in college, but could no longer stand! Many women dream of an opportunity to escape married life, but fear the societal stigma of being single, especially with children.

Listen here Lady: the freedom that comes with living your own life, making your own rules, counting your own money, exploring your own options, and making your own decisions is worth every backhanded comment about when you plan to get married! Dating is fun. Everyone is not a potential husband, and a woman shouldn’t put that kind of pressure on herself or a man. Taking time to check options and choosing according to compatibility makes more sense than following a set of regulations and time requirements. I understand that many, if not most women, would like to get married some day. I just hope that they don’t settle for the wrong guy just to be in the married club. There are some people in miserable situations for making decisions based on a lie, societal pressure, and appearances.

Fortunately, there are some good, healthy, happy marriages to look to for examples. I recommend that women who want to get married ask those happily married couples some truths about being married before deciding if it’s something you really want to do. You may realize that it’s not the path you want to take. Regardless, you can live a full, balanced, successful, and wonderful life with or without “the ring.”

~Khaliah

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